Dear Blog, How many Hail Marys?

Blog,

I have a serious confession to make to you tonight.

Today I stole a necklace from a prominent retail store.

Not sure what to do about this.

Feeling really bad about myself.
Not sure if I can deal with the burdon of guilt.

Thinking about attending church every Saturday until my kids get married.

Will my sins be forgiven then?

Just wanna say my Hail Marys and be over with it.

If only passage into

Heaven

Was so simple.

What should I do? Just want to be forgiven for my sins. Love my fellow man. Please help.