Saturday, March 28, 2009

Cocaine: Is it for you?

Cocaine is an iffy topic. Some people are against it, others are fine with it, and a select few are obsessed. In the end, though, cocaine undoubtedly makes you twice as hip and disgustingly alt, no matter who you are (sXe bros excluded). So, you ask, why doesn't everyone do it? Well, there are several things that veer people off the crystal path that is a cocaine habbit- making cocaine not for them. So, is cocaine for you?

1) Do you care?

This is the first question that needs to be asked before doing cocaine. You may know that cocaine is illegal, and not necessarily healthy, but do you give a shit?

2) Are you a fucking pussy?

Cocaine gives off an alt, rule breaking, elitest, and better-than-you persona. If you are a fucking pussy, this can never be achieved, and thus doing cocaine will benefit you nigh.

3) Do you hate everybody?

Although a majority of this world are plebians, not everyone on this earth is a peasant. Cocaine will rile up your social senses and make you want to converse. If you go in nose first with a goth-fag persona not wanting to talk to anyone, you'll find yourself trapped in a shell that is trying to suffocate your life- but if you latch on to the nearest hipster for a conversation, life is going to be fucking exciting.

Did you answer No to all of these questions? If so, Cocaine is definitely for you! Congrats!

Existentialism is the Ultimatum,
Brackett.

4 comments:

  1. This post.......

    I recognize it........


    it reminds me of....


    OWN!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heh, kudos.

    AltestBro the megazord

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow.

    AltestBro the hater of Mike Lucas

    ReplyDelete