Thursday, March 19, 2009

Nail biting theories

Why do people bite their nails? Research conducted in France says it's due to work related stress, or when people are forced to make decisions. But clearly the right answer lies in the fourth paragraph. "Another theory says that that the desire to bite nails is an analogue of masturbation." For the AltestBro, this is clearly the cause. The article goes on to say that nail biting is more publically accepted than masturbation, but in true Alt fashion, i'm going to prove them wrong.
From now on, every time I get the urge to bite my nails in public, I'm just going to whip it out and start yankin' on Thomas. Yeah, so, I named my dick Thomas. Like you haven't named your dick Thomas at some point in your life.
So you heard it here first, when the "NO TO NAILS, YES TO YANKIN' THOMAS" phenomenon comes to your city, you can blame that shit on the AltestBro.

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